So I'm home all alone, bored, missing Bethany and my babies, my home in Africa, my friends and thinking how awesome my life has been so far. How blessed am i! I've been spending my time meticulously updating my ipod and this song- is one of my new faves. Its by Rita Springer
Oh God of mine, I'll have no idols. Oh God of mine, come lead the way
Oh God of mine, I'm greatly humbled. This sinner's heart you came to save
Oh God of mine through storm and trial.Oh God of mine through death and grave
Oh God of mine, in resurrection. Your scars display my soul's refrain
Oh God of mine Who holds all nations.Oh God of mine who saves the day
Oh God of mine, your grace sufficient.Your tender mercies new by morn
Oh God of mine, forever faithful. Oh God of mine, forever stay
Oh God of mine, forever after. These eyes upon your face will gaze
I'm left with a lot of time on my hands. I walked an hour to my surgery follow up today to feel like i was back in Uganda and walking everywhere. I've been looking into schools closer to home. I'm accepted to Trent University for the compressed nursing program but I'm not sure anymore if that's what i want. I'm leaning towards international development so i can do something so cool like be an ambassador and write books on poverty and living in Africa and be on Anderson Cooper 360 talking about my sweet orphanage I'm going to start (one day!).
I'm not down with living apathetically anymore. I want to be a proactive citizen whatever country I'm living in, getting involved right around me. I want to change the world. My great friend Katie says shes "sometimes working in a third world country makes me feel like i am emptying the ocean with an eye-dropper. and just when i have about half a cup full of water, it rains.'' Its so true.
How do you help 2 million orphans? How do you spread your love to each of them? How do you make people understand your incredible, crushing love for a continent the world's forgotten about? How do you show your amazing Ugandan friends that they've done more for you in 6 months than you've done for your friends in your life time? How do you change your selfish, proud self to humble and selfless? How? How do you look in the eyes of your beautiful daughter and see a life of struggle of sickness because of Aids? How do you reconcile your wealth?
I come home and wish for a night with no electricity. A night where I'm sitting in Tuesday fellowship at David's house, with the rain pouring down so hard on the roof we can't hear the sermon so we just worship for 2 hours. I come home and wish i could transport my church here. My church that is alive. That's loudly proclaiming the gospel to its members, that's passionately loving the community, that's praying in hospital wards for dying people, that loves justice, that you have to bring your bible to, that encourages scripture memory, that's dancing and praising and praying. My church where people are poor- compared to our western standards, but more richly blessed than we could believe. Where people have so little, and are still willing to give it all up for Christ. I come home and am so thankful for my family, my house, my freedom but yearn for the people I've left my heart with.
My God is mighty to save. He is bigger than Aids, he's bigger than poverty, he's bigger than corruption, he's bigger than death. My God conquered the grave!
My God will help 2 million orphans. My God will spread his love to each of them. My God understands my incredible, crushing love for a continent the worlds forgotten, and HE hasn't forgotten it. My God can change my selfish proud self to humble and selfless. My God will comfort my Sophia when she's sick, when she's angry about having Aids, when she's lonely and i can't comfort her. My God is big enough to heal her.
I am blessed.