Since i've been home i've found it hard to journal..which is rare for me because basically i've journalled every day of my life since i was old enough to hold my own pencil. I have stacks of old journals from years gone by, which are fun to read now, giving myself a glimpse into the person i once was. Mostly i recount all out brawls with my sister while our parents were at work that went something like i stole something from jan's closet and hid it in my room and lied about taking it, daring her to "just look around, see if you can find it in here" and she'd barge into my puppy and kitty pink wallpaper and bordered room and tear around without finding anything and scream I"M TELLING MOM!! Then we'd both wait at the back door and as soon as we heard her drive up, burst onto the deck and push and scream our way to her car door and greet her with a tandem ..." MOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!"
In Uganda it was so easy to journal because i became obessed with remembering the most mundane and tedious details. Bethany can vouch for the fact that about 3 times a week i'd sigh, close my journal and say "Beth BEth Beth!! guess how many pages i just journalled! 17,756!" I would write down the color of sophie's shirt, the shapes in the clouds that day, the song playing across the street from the Source Cafe that my bionic hearing would pick up and bethany would sit dumbfounded as to how i could hear a song, start singing along, when she didnt even realise music was even playing.
At home, i get home from work and chill. Then i read and go to bed. In Uganda i'd get home from "work", chill, read my bible, journal, chat with beth, then go to bed.
So i started something different. I often find it hard to read, recreationally, the good ole NIV, so i dragged out an old Message and have started at the beginning, a very good place to start.
I thought i'd be depressed, heart broken, ripped in two and miserable coming home....but i'm not. I'm ok. I'm happy. I'm content.
I also know that this time at home will be filled with new things. New things to learn, new people to meet, new things to do, new things to challenge me.....
I'm learning that being home, in canada, in the first world, is ok. Its not as bad as i spent 6.5 months thinking it would be. I love my family. I love my new nephew. I love my new friends.
I miss jinja, i miss my church in jinja, i miss the mama's at amani, i miss the heat, i miss our dogs brownie and blackie, i miss my friends SOOOO much.
But i know that somehow i'm not done with Uganda yet. And thats good enough for right now.